Last updated on August 7th, 2015
Welcome, one and all, to the League of Draven! The most Draven filled place on the earth!
Wait, what is that you say?
You want to play League of Legends?
Psh, noob. No one plays that game anymore. Everyone has now migrated over to the gloriously superior League of Draven!
Every champion has been hand picked to be as close to the likeness of Draven as possible. None but the most Dravenest of Dravens are allowed into this prestigious league! It is here that you select your Draven, go into a Draven match, and find a game of other Dravens to go Draven against in the Fields of Draven.
Here is a quick introductory video on how to go about playing the League of Draven. Remember, you must watch it all to fully understand how to compete in the League of Draven!
If you hadn’t yet guessed, this article shall be around the best Champion in the League. Draven!!!!
But when playing Draven, one must follow a set of rules. A code to go by so that you may achieve the utmost enlightenment into how to Draven. I shall be your coach on this magical journey, telling you a tale of one such match in which I showed people that this game is indeed the League of Draven.
Rules on how to play Draven:
Rule #1: You are Draven.
I enter into the champion selection for a match, and immediately choose the majestic god that is Draven. I say nothing, simply waiting there as people take in the shock and awe that is the Draven mustache. But sadly, some people in this game are bloody heretics that deserve to be burned on a cross.
Sir: I am Draven.
Heretic: well i called adc
Sir: I don’t think you understand
Sir: I am Draven.
Sir: I will go mid AP burst mage Draven if you want me to
Heretic: f**k fine go adc ill mid.
Sir: Now you are learning how to play League of Draven!
After that nonsense is over, the game loads in and the match is started.
Rule #2: Announce your presence.
[all]Sir: Welcome, one and all, to the League of Draven! Please leave all decapitated heads of my enemies in the tip jar at our turret.
[all]EnemyAshe: But I thought this was the League of Ashe…..
[all]Sir: Ashe pls. Contain your orgasms. I will be coming up to grab dat Ashe in a bit.
I’m not sure she liked my jokes.
Before I begin to describe how this game went out, I should note some things about how Draven works. His main thing is that his next attack will deal double it’s normal damage, and his weapon will bounce off the enemy, fly through the air, and if you catch it you can through it again for no cost. And the more you catch them, the more gold you will get when you kill someone next. Normally it is Axes that he throws, but since I am a badass, I throw Scythes. This is the main point of him. And keep in mind that if you Critical strike with it, it will deal Quadruple your normal damage. And if you have extra damage to your crits like me, you do Quintuple the damage. And when I play, I like to run 1% critical strike chance at the start of the game just for fun. There are other things about him, but I will get to that later.
Rule #3: Tolerate no bullshit.
I enter the lane, swagger on overload purely from the fact that I am, indeed, Draven! The minions come in, and already I am catching Scythes left and right. I am like a glorious ballerina on the bottom lane! Weaving around and throwing these Scythes like no ones business! The enemy adc and support are in utter shock and awe as this gorgeous display of………
……..Ashe hits me as I go to catch a scythe………
……..This angers Draven. How DARE she try to interrupt the glorious symphony of blades that is the League of Draven!? I go up and decide to throw my scythe at her. Little did I know, that it would be a crit from my 1% crit chance…….
One hit took out over half her health. She immediately flashes away from me, and types into the chat.
[all]AsheKetchum: HOW THE HELL DID YOU CRIT FOR SO HARD!? HOW DO YOU EVEN CRIT AT LEVEL 2!?
[all]GloriousDraven: It’s the League of Draven! What part of this don’t you understand?
[all]AsheKetchup: You took out half my health…..
[all]MasterfulDraven: More than that, but I digress.
Ashe leaves lane, and comes back a minute later. By that time my farming of minions has gone past hers by enough that it is hard for her to keep up. Not much happens for quite a bit, until they decide that they want to get cocky…….
Out of no where they jump on the poor Sona that was supporting me. Thankfully for me, Sona is actually smart, and stayed in the fight while I beat on Ashe. Apparently she forgot that I nearly two-hit her before, and within just a few seconds she is dead. And soon thereafter, their support.
[all]Sir: Ashe, what did we learn.
[all]AsheyCheeks: Draven OP?
[all]Sir: Exactly! And also, to stop trying to play in the League of Draven.
Keep in mind, that Draven’s entire purpose in the game, his essential core mechanic, is snowballing. His passive is made so he gets more gold from killing people. He gains speed from one of his skills to chase people, and his Ultimate is he sends his scythes across the map to his people as they run away. It is a Draven’s job to absolutely steamroll over a game before they can even do anything. So when I got two kills early on in the game………let us just say that what happens next is not pretty.
Rule #4: Axes/Scythes and Minions > Teammates
Eventually my jungler comes to the bottom lane to try to gank Ashe. She begins to ping to go on her. This, of course, angers me! I am Draven! I need no help from my teammates to get kills! I flash in towards Ashe and hit her enough that she only has around 100 health left. As fast as I can move my fingers, I type in……
[all]Sir: As I said, Welcome……..
Use my ultimate to hit Ashe as she tries to run back to her base. I somehow manage to hit her with only a rough estimation of where she went, and got the kill.
[all]Sir: To the League of Draven!
Haven asserted my authority to my jungler, I resume hitting the minions and catching my scythes as they go up in the air. I notice soon that my jungler, while still near bottom lane for some reason, is being attacked himself by two people and quickly dying. I was about to run over to help her, but………
There were so many minions.
And my Scythe was in the air, ready and waiting for my elegant Draven hands to catch it. So I continue to farm my lane, whilst my jungler is in a fruitless attempt to escape from the two enemies. The jungler gets killed, and begins to go on a rant about how terrible and tunnel-visioned I am. I was considering replying to her, but……..Minions. Scythes. They were oh so ready for me to partake in them, and I could waste precious time replying to dead teammates! It was sadly shortly after this time that four people all came down and attacked me and my support at once. Even with how amazingly Draven I am, there was only so much that I could Draven while 4 people were attacking me at once.
But I was content. They had stopped the League of Draven for only a moment. For mid game was coming, and people were about to understand the true glory that is Draven!!!!!!
Rule #5: Make. Them. Cry.
I bought an Infinity Edge. Now, what does that do? Well, it gives me a whole lot of damage, crit chance, and makes me crit a whole lot harder! With another damage item i had already gotten, I was ready to do something funny.
One of the many, wide and various talents that Draven has is being an absolute sexy beast. Another talent is that he can one-hit people with enough damage. Walking up to to the mid-lane, I notice that the enemy mage had slowly moved in closer to our turret then she should have. Running up to her, I hit her once, and……..
I get confused. She just disappeared as I hit her. I thought she might have flashed away or something, but then notice the game saying “You have slain an enemy!” The realization that I just hit her so hard that I thought she simply vanished into thin air astounds me. But, soon after, I remember that I am Draven! And this is what I should always be doing!
[all]AnnoyedLux: Who fed Draven so much that he just one hit me?
[all]TheAmazingDraven: It’s the League of Draven. I am always fed. Before you were even loaded into this game, I was fed. Before you knew what League of Legends even was, I was fed. When the Riot founders were born and their first thoughts went through their heads, I was already fed out of my ass.
They didn’t appreciate my quoting from the Bible of Draven as much as I did. I needed to teach these none-Draven loving heretics about the true word of Draven! In the most assholish way I could think of.
I hardly took part in any teamfights. What the next ten minutes of the game consisted of was random assassinations by me. I had my support and jungler ward all of their jungle and the river. So I was always able to catch them out of no where and whisper quietly into their ear the seductive and alluring voice of Draven.
Some of the things I said right before I ganked them:
“Have you accepted our Lord and Savior, Draven into your hearts?”
“Praise Draven! Praise or burn in eternal low elo hell!!!!”
“I got you a welcoming present to the League of Draven.” *Kill them* “It was a scythe.”
“Swiggity swooty, Draven’s comin for dat booty!”
At a certain point even my teammates began to get pissed off at the almighty Draven for my complete lack of giving even one single fuck. So, in response to my teammates incessant want to for some reason end this almighty spree of Draven, I went up to their Nexus and hit it. Wasn’t really much they could do to stop me, as I kinda killed it in 8 hits. Though really, I ended it before the enemy team got into late game where they would make me a whole lot less snowbally.
And thus ends the spree that is Draven. For that game. But then there is the next game. More and more people to spread the word of the Draven! More people to introduce the true meaning of the League of Draven! For every game that there is a Draven in, it is a glorious game, not of League of Legends, but one of the League of Draven!
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