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it appears that if you fail a persuasion check you are locked out of this quest. I ran into this quest early while exploring, failed the checks and moved on. Even my elf failed.
If you fail all your persuasion checks you can just equip Fane's Mask of the Shapeshifter and try the check again
Is there a way to get approval from the elfs after the ritual? Whatever I pick they are not pleased and the elder says that I should not help.
Tovah? She told me after the ritual "We thank you for honouring Sarias but you should move on" but I passed the Hero and Constitution check that they have suffered a loss and I'd like to help. It seems if you have enough persuasion, you can persuade through this quest.
To pass the check you need to be an elf or have Fane shape shift into an elf. AND give the "right" answer. If I remember correctly I used the "traditional elven greeting".
I had three [Human] options and a Constitution check in which I just said I would like to see the ritual. I passed it with 5 persuasion and 17 Con.
Just follow the elves and do what they do, except in the beginning, if you're human the only "good" thing you can do is say a prayer to Rhalic. Don't kick your feet. I didn't need to pass a persuasion check during this quest, only one to begin it. It was completed for 5800 XP and it says "you performed adequately, but it could have been worse"
You don't have to pray to Rhalic, just mimic the elves, though they won't let you do the last step - eating the heart, unless you do the whole ritual with an elf character (such as Sebille).
They will still thank you for honoring the warrior, so it's not a bad thing to mimic their actions safe for the heart part.
This quest leads to "The Elven Seer" quest to rescue Saheila from the Lone Wolves
To perform the ritual well (and receive the reward), you need to be elf (or use the shapeshifter mask) and always select the first option.
Where is it? So hard to find
Use the helmet wich allows you to transform into different races and become an Elf. At the burial rite, follow their lead and you get 11600 exp and Epic rewards