You literally failed the two best characters in the entire game what the hell is wrong with you delete that character and make a deprived build to atone for your sins against the literal children of ornsteing (solaire) and smough (siegmeyer)
I think part of it is most of the world of dark souls is dreadful and depressing. But then you get this little sparks of joy every now and then when you interact with the NPCs. It makes it more meaningful.
I got invaded yesterday in Anor Londo when I was kindling that one bonfire before O&S. Invader used Solaire as a cover and i accidently hit him... I lost this invade, I lost my beloved Solaire, I lost everything and now I'm forever alone in the dark...
You don't need to kill the bed of chaos in order to make him spawn, but u do need to kill the centipede otherwise he wont spawn in the hallways where the maggots are at. After you kill the centipede (do not go further then that bonefire, do NOT trigger lost izalith) warp back to daughter of chaos and do all that shortcut thingy, kill the maggots and go up the stairs towards the direction of the titanite demon then head back without needed to reload the area or anything and he will be sitting there.
There are only 2 situations where I find wearing his armour agreeable:
1. You failed his quest and killed him in Izalith, and wear it out of respect 2. You killed him in NG, bombrush to NG+ to get him back, and wear it then, as we all know that impersonation is the greatest form of flattery