As someone who usually starts with this covenant, before changing to Sunbro, here is my stance on things that I know someone here wont agree with.
I personally do not much care for PVP in these games. I played all 3 Souls games, and platinumed Bloodborne, so I have dealt with my fair share of invasions.
As someone who also enjoys playing with their friends, always talking over Discord, anytime I get invaded, or one of them, we are always friendly.
We wave, have a toast, etc.
Whoever the host is will stay back and sit, not to interfere in the fight, to make it fair.
Then, whoever the phantoms are will decide who will PVP. The other phantom will sit by the host and wait.
We consider it a fair duel as long as no one interupts a 1v1. Even better if Estus is drained before the fight.
If the phantom, or phantoms, die to the invader, then it goes to the host. At least, thats how we try to play.
I love these games, and I enjoy the stories and deep lore.
Back when I first played, I did not enjoy the constant invasions in Farron or Anor Londo, when all I wanted to do was retrieve my souls and rest at a bonfire. I didn't enjoy that I either had to play un-embered or offline to avoid this. And even with friends, as new players, it got annoying real quick.
I will never fault anyone for being in this covenant, especially a new players.