OK, I have one. I haven't been playing all that long and so I don't have much PvP experience, but this one was pretty funny... let's see what you guys think!
DISCLAIMER: Regarding invasions, I have a very simple policy. Simply stated, if I'm looking
for PvP action (ie: in the Forest playing as a catbro), then I try to be a fair duelist. As long as my opponent(s) is(are) playing nice, I do my best to keep the fight clean and fair. But if I am invaded while trying to work through some part of the DkS single-player campaign... well, let's just say that I'll use whatever methods I need to in order to win and continue on with my current quest. The way I see it, the invader came into my world looking for a kill; in order to get it, she or he is going to have to work for it! Fair enough?
So, in this particular instance I was playing along in my first NG+ (with my first character, no less), and had just reached the rafters in the church in Anor Londo where the painting guardians are when I got the invasion notification. I decided to just wait there; if the invader wanted me, they'd have to come up and get me. I moved to the center where the chandelier was hanging and just waited.
After a few minutes, he finally appeared through the broken window. At first it seemed like he was going to go right on along with the fight... he climbed the ladder and started towards me. But as he stepped on to the first long beam that headed my way, he stopped. He tried to beckon me to come to him, but I wasn't about to make this easy. I simply waved, and then beckoned back. This clearly frustrated him! He tried a few more taunts, but I never took the bait.
Next he decided to try poison throwing knives. They had enough range to reach me, but they just bounced off my Spider Shield without the effect I'm sure he was hoping for. Next, he tried dung pies. They may
have been more effective had they hit me, but he wasn't close enough and each one fell harmlessly to the floor below. This seemed to frustrate him even more.
Since his early projectile attempts failed, he decided to try something else. He again began to inch toward me, but he seemed really hesitant up there on those rafters... scared of heights, I guess! He got to the midpoint, but then stopped again without engaging me. Once more he tried to taunt me into coming after him... and once more I ignored his taunts, silently daring him to bring it on.
His next idea was to move on past me, toward the ladder at the other end of the church. I suppose he was thinking maybe I'd follow him? I don't really know, but by this point, I
was starting to get annoyed. So as he went by, I pulled out my lightning long bow and let off a few shots... you know, just to say, "Hey, I have projectiles, too"! That
definitely got his attention. At first he pulled out his own bow, a Dragonslayer, and tried to trade shots with me. But I was the better archer that day... by simply stepping to the right and left, I was able to dodge every one of his shots. I had better luck, and landed several of my arrows right in his gut.
Seeing that this, too, was a failing strategy, he put up his bow and headed for the far ladder again. But I really was fed up at this point, and so I kept firing away. I managed to tag him twice on the ladder, which seemed to frustrate him even more. He pulled out a humanity and healed himself... that disappointed me, but whatever. Once healed, he got back on the ladder and headed up once more.
From the top of the ladder, he tried once more in vain to fire his Dragonslayer Bow at me. Failing to hit me again, he then pulled out his Black Knight Greataxe. Ahhh, at last we were going to get down to business! I switched to my Greatshield of Artorias, pulled out my lightning Zweihander, and braced myself. I tanked his first blow, and then in one swing knocked him off the beam, sending him to his death on the cold, hard floor below!
So there you have it, my one and only humorous DkS PvP story! All of that beckoning, taunting, dung pie and poison knife throwing, and in the end he only got in one ineffective swing before he plummeted to the floor far below. I almost felt bad for the guy, but hey, the floor was just as far below for me as it was for him, right?