Anything without a home!
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thegourd

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#1691
Discord recap: Grom and Crams defeated the serpent, then Grom investigated a slate black illusion wall, and found a pit of mist.
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thegourd

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#1692
@Mr_Peer
@EldritchImagination
@Harbinger1997

I will be on discord most of the day today, if you feel like dropping by
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Mr_Peer

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#1693
Got it. I won't be on until 8 or 9 though(that's 7 hours or so, cus school etc.)
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thegourd

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#1694
Taken from 4chan

"The Age of Fire has ended.
Darkness reigns supreme, the world corrupted and rotting beneath its foul touch.
Yet there are some who shall never feel its chill."
- unkown

Lightning flashes in the night, winds howling and tugging at your cloak, biting deep into your flesh with teeth of broken glass. You raise an arm, shielding your eyes, alien footsteps shrouded in the shriek of tempestuous gusts. Then, mist rushes in, biting with acidic cold, the stones cracking underfoot, your armor crumbling and flaking away like dust beneath careful brush. From the mire of wind and mist a figure becomes clear, a shadow wrought in the shape of a man, his eyes two coals that blaze with furious light, his fingers wreathed in seething vapor. His lips move, casting light and fog into the gloom; his words lost in the clamor. Then, he is upon you, lightning rippling along his arms, mist curling from his body.

He slashes, throwing your weapon out wide, his fist narrowly missing your heart as you twist aside, feeling its passing pull upon you, deadly force dissipating into the shadows. You are granted not a breath's respite as he surges in, hands blurred into long streaks of pewter and tar that smash against your upraised forearms, battering through your guard.

Your ancient heart races, terror rushing through your veins, and in desperation you throw yourself into that hailstorm of steel and mist, slamming your sword against his neck, watching in horror as it shatters like glass. He does not smile, does not wince, only fixes a dark stare upon you, his eyes boring into yours.

Then the frenetic world turns black, serene , and silent.
And all is calm...
Forevermore
----

The World is swathed in mist. It devours stone and flesh alike, creeping over towering mountains, pouring into hollow vale, consuming all and leaving naught but filthy, pitted crags behind. The Void has returned, its sickly tendrils hearkening to the call of a titan among men, a god among gods, a terrible foe like none the Ashen have seen: the Voidborn. He was once Ashen just as they were, yet one day something snapped. His Darksign bleached white, his amber pupils split in two and took on the color of day and night. And the Void's mist seethed from his mouth when he screamed.

----
Our heroes awake in a desolate Firelink Shrine; five figures no odder than some, far odder than most: Crams, a man whose blubbery folds weep tongues of fresh, creamy butter, Charles, a ridiculously (and dangerously) well endowed fellow whose immense... shall we say... 'anatomy' often drags about like a third leg. With them woke Tony, a plump mob boss (even though the mob doesn't really exist), Gei Ping Anneus, a thin reed of a man wielding magecraft and his slender rapier to deadly and rather interesting effect. Last of all is Grom, a barrel chested alcoholic who woke up here unsurprised. He usually binges so much that his mind gives up, so this wasn't really too abnormal for him.

Butters, Blubbers, Schlong, Penetrator, and Mead all explored the Shrine, finding the Firekeeper nailed against the wall with two coiled swords through her eyes. Charles made a crude joke, Crams wept, Grom wandered off, and Gei began telling a great tale so long most of his fellows mentally (and physically) checked out long before it was complete.

Charles finally touched the Keeper, muttering about how only he could penetrate her like that, then with a flash of mist and sour light she came back from the dead. They fought briefly until Crams ended it all with a mighty fist that bridged her mouth and rectum. He prefaced this with his signature cry, which came in intimate company with a geyser of freshly churned butter: "FULL-POWER-CRRRRAAAAAMMMM!"...
...
...
When they recovered from the mental trauma of that, the adventurers set out, finding an odd version of Iudex Gundyr, one whose body wept tongues of mist, whose eyes shone like burning oil, and whose voice was a terrible storm that stripped away their flesh.

Crams jumped up its *** as well.

----

Our stalwart weirdos pressed on, finding a small cave in which there lay two things: an oddly colored soapstone, and The Emerald Herald Shanalotte was nailed to the earth through palm, sole, and skull. Undoing these brought her back to the waking world, but alerted the Voidborn to their presence. The cave mouth collapsed, trapping our heroes inside, but Crams lowered his shoulder and smashed right through it.

They were free, Shanalotte was alive, and all rejoiced.

Then the Voidborn arrived. He came as a storm, a hurricane on a cloudless day, a seething gale of mist and fury that tore apart all except Tony, who was lucky enough to escape its reach. When his vision cleared, his friends were dead, erased from the world. He went hollow, and staggering to a nearby down, devoured dozens of helpless inhabitants until at last he went so mad as to be completely beyond waking. He lost his senses and turned to stone, becoming a gargoyle seated at the town's hem, devouring any who ventured near.

Meanwhile, the others were in fact not dead, merely transported to another realm by the soapstone, which Crams had cannily swiped across the sod in their last breaths of life. Here, all their hollowing was undone; Shanalotte's scars were washed away like the dust of hard days' travel. Even Gei found himself restored, healed beyond measure. His life was returned, his humanity thrust back into its empty cage.

They adventured in this new world for a time, happily drinking in the Sunlight as they wandered around between Shrines, filling chalices and entering their dungeons. All was well for a time, until the last dungeon was clear. Then Shanalotte screamed in their minds, her terror summoning them back to the primary Bonfire, where now there stood a humpbacked tower twisted and vile. They burst inside, but by this time Gei had already gone hollow for some reason or another.

Inside they found living statues and twisting, ever changing corridors. They cleared the first floor, then the next. By now Charles too had lost his mind, sinking to his knees at a statue's side and pleading with it to make love with him. Crams and Grom found a secret passage, a shortcut locked from their side which Crams fixed with a swift kick. They traveled even higher, and found a mist veiled door. Entering this placed them in a labyrinth of phantasmal halls in which lurked shadowy versions of themselves. Crams saw Anticrams, and merely waved amiably, befriending the thing at once. They made their way onward until they encountered the Looking Glass Knight, who informed them that the only way out, and up, toward Shanalotte, was to slay him. Crams wept, then set about fighting him.

And that is where we are.

I need more players, the others have hollowed and fallen, losing interest. Silly or serious matters not, only that you are interested. The Voidborn is a terrible foe, but the Ashen have triumphed over worse in their endless days. Join us, and together we shall rule the galaxy as DM and Player!
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