Dark Souls: 5 Bosses That Hate Your Face

Dark Souls: 5 Bosses That Hate Your Face

Last updated on July 25th, 2017

Lots of bosses in Dark Souls are jerks, but not all of them bring the thump.  These 5 don’t just kill you, they embarrass you.

Top 5 Dark Souls Jerk Bosses

 

5.  Capra Demon:

dark-souls-bosses-that-hate-you-capra-demon

“Hello there noob! Meet my Harry Potter bedroom. And my two dogs. And my twin six foot machetes.”

You probably got here by mistake after somehow dodging savage dogs and throat cutting back alley street toughs. You are carrying a wealthy amount of souls that you want to turn into some levels! Or to buy some items… But nope. Two seconds past the fog and “You Died“.  Good luck getting back.

 

4. Centipede Demon:

dark-souls-bosses-that-hate-you-centipede

“Either way, you BURN!”

Stand here.  Get wrecked.  Move into lava.  Get wrecked.  Rude hatemail afterwards.  Oh and that ring that gives you fire walking which can make the whole fight easier?  You have to hack that FROM him.  Good luck.

 

3. Manus:

dark-souls-bosses-hate-you-manus

“It’s abyss time, motherf*cker!”

Nothing pygmy about this guy.  He’s like Rafiki on steroids when he brings the club down.  The rest of the time he uses dark magic which no one complained about ever. Later on you find out you could have summoned some puppy love.  From the middle of the arena, during the middle of the fight.

 

2. Ceaseless Discharge (the real way, not the cheese):

dark-souls-bosses-hate-you-ceaseless-discharge

“Oh hello there. Bet you didn’t see me coming!”

He’s mad as hell, and you would be too if you were dense, molten, and abandoned. How many times did you try to cheese and failed miserably? Be honest now… yup, thought so.

 

1. Bed of Chaos:

dark-souls-bosses-hate-you-bed-of-chaos

“Lemme make you fall to your death some”

Not really much of a thumper in terms of bringing the pain, but seriously, fuck that guy.

  • Take 1: get killed by swoop.
  • Take 2: get killed by falling ground.
  • Take 3: get killed by firestorm.
  • Take 4: miss the jump.
  • Take 5: make the jump and die to firestorm.
  • Take 6: get in there phantom!

 

If you’re in the mood for some more Dark Souls humor, check out our Dark Souls Comedy posts, this amazing DKS2 DLC rumor, or how to make a Soulslike.

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16 comments on “Dark Souls: 5 Bosses That Hate Your Face”

  1. MisfitLantern says:

    Manus was awful! If it weren’t for that pendant that block dark magic I would have NEVER beat him!!

  2. Riockmert says:

    I would put the 4 kings in this instead of capra. Capra was a breeze for my light build. The 4 kings took me longer than I’d care to admit!

  3. Icegodzilla says:

    Am I the only person that has never had a problem with the Centipede Demon?

    1. Riockmert says:

      @Icegodzilla No you are not 🙂 But he can be frustrating if you don’t know what to do, plus he has some anoying attacks if you can’t fast roll.

  4. Emergence says:

    I considered Four Kings, but I was going for the brutish thud factor. Four Kings hurt you for sure, but with considerably more finesse.

  5. Wilkinson3424 says:

    I actually beat Ceaseless pretty easily by dodging most of his attacks, they are almost laughably easy to read when he pulls back his arm. It’s just the timing that’s difficult, and the firey arm also gets me from time to time.

    I’d say that Kalameet is a boss that makes a fool out of players who don’t know how to handle him.

  6. Pendant says:

    There is no “finesse” to Smough.

  7. -X- says:

    I found the Capra Demon to be legitimately hard since I was using a build that would get one-shotted by him no matter the attack on my first playthrough.
    Bed of Chaos on the other hand is just complete bull crap no matter how many times I play through the game.

  8. befowler says:

    I laugh about it now, but my first playthrough the worst one was Gaping Dragon. Had no idea what I was getting into, went in solo, then the cutscene where he gets bigger and bigger — and once the scene ended, he was already in full charge mode directly at me on all fours. The only time I’ve ever turned around and tried to get back out a fog gate.

    1. Fex says:

      Pre-patch Gaping was the worst!

      1. Emergence says:

        Jesus, pre patch everything for that matter. Reminds me of the first time I walked into Izalith pre patched. Good lord the aggro radius on those dragon torsos.

  9. Rooke says:

    I must say that Bed of Chaos takes the price of being the worst boss. Even now almost 2 years later, i still die at least 2-5 times before beating it.

  10. Hachouma says:

    Kalameet, period.

  11. Serious_Much says:

    Yeah all the bosses have a bit of that.

    But artorias? The guy literally bashes your face in with several of his moves (giant leap, flip slash etc) and he’s an insanely overaggressive pain in the ass while he’s doing it too.

  12. Juutas says:

    I would still go for the Ornstein and Smough! That boss encounter is just a big f*ck you for new players, haha!

    Here, have a boss that double teams on you. Not having fun yet? After you manage to struggle and get one of them to die, the other one comes 2 times harder and gains all of his hp back….THAT is douchebaggery to the max! <3

  13. Npembo says:

    I hate the Four Kings, mainly due to New Londo Ruins being a pain in the ass for me (I f*cking hate those ghosts).

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